Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
