Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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