Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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