hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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