High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
