how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
A bitchslap is in order.
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