so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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