Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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