So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
