I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize