This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I checked into jail on foursquare
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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