So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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