smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
