How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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