I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it's like iHOP with fire
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
