guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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