I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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