Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
