I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize