i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
