You're my little dorito
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
