so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
