Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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