rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
do herpes really smell.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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