Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
