You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
