Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
...so i touched it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
