we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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