Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
