I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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