I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
