you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Boobs speak an international language.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize