It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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