Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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