I need to stop coming to work sober
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
