singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
