I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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