dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
