is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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