playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
