the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
