i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
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I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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