you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
