I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize