Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
