If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
North Korea, Best Korea!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
