We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
