you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
