Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
BRING THE BAGELS
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
