i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
