im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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