the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Come on in and take your pants off
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