so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
