Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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