Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize