I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize