Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
