i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
