Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
