Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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