I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
