I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
