She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Drunk is a universal language darling
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