Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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