sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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