Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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